Saturday, February 28, 2009

The far left takes aim at how you wipe your backside


You read the title right. Environmental activists and their supporters in the world media are taking aim at American behinds, specifically the paper Americans use to wipe their behinds with. The Guardian, of London, is reporting that Americans use so called “soft” toilet tissue to wipe their behinds and that is hurting virgin forests and that the environment is harmed by the use of such tissue more than anything else. Gulp.

That is right, folks. If you thought liberals were invading your life when they try to tell you what kind of car to drive, how much electricity you should use, and how your money could be spent better by them, you can brace yourselves for their call for sweeping changes in your most personal of life choices: wiping your backside.

It would be funny if it was not true. The hard truth is people who claim that people should be left the personal freedom to engage in health decisions such as abortions without any interference, engage in gay marriages by a sense of right, and be free to communicate with terrorists types without any sense of monitoring now want to make you feel guilty for what you wipe your backside with.

It is incredibly nuts. To invade one of the most personal of choices, what to wipe one’s backside with after defecation, is illustrative of how the liberal mindset works. The liberals know what is best for you. You do not. What is next? A special tax on those who buy soft tissue and a tax credit for those who buy “John Wayne” tissue, (John Wayne tissue is rough and takes no crap off anyone.)? Should we tax by the tissue sheet to punish those who want that extra wipe to make sure that they got things clean?

Where does this nonsense end? Again, all of this would be funny, save for the fact that it is taken so seriously by the far left.

The far left seems to want to throw the world back into the Dark Ages. One of the comforts of life that Americans enjoy, be they poor or rich, is bathroom tissue. The poorest of Americans can take some sense of pride in knowing that Kings and Queens in history did not have the luxury of a roll of toilet tissue. Now, those on the far left want to take that little nugget of self esteem away and make folks feel guilty for wiping their behinds. What shall we hear about next? The evils of toothpaste or mouthwash? Or is aftershave and perfume offensive to the far left? What about the idea of “running water” itself? Where does the madness of the far left end?

4 comments:

  1. Americans do use way too much toilet paper. This is as serious issue. You should not use your pathetic abilities to ridicule the problem. We need to wipe less and save the earth!

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  2. I am not much of a 'RUSH daily' fan as most but having watched his speech at CPAC, this is where they, the liberals would like take us ... No way! Get fired up and get to your precinct re-org meetings this week, and pray. js

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  3. I print out your comments on your blog and wipe my ass with them. I think that helps the Left agenda you bitch and whine about.

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  4. Well, I see why you post anonymous. I am glad that I in someway help your toliet issues. But, I have to admit it sort of freaks me out that you print off my posts to wipe your backside with. That is sort of crazy. I like the idea of women fatansizing about me, but some guy wiping his ass with my words? Oh, Hell no. That freaks me out.

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