9) Democrats are afraid that drawing attention to Governor Sanford’s “outsourcing” of a mistress will alienate Hispanic voters in 2010.
8) Howard Rich’s paid lackeys have a thing for Hispanic women, so it’s all good.
7) Attorney General Henry McMaster is satisfied because Sanford’s “Maria” did not have a Craig’s List ad.
6) Charleston “friends” told Senate President Pro Tempore Glen McConnell that a purple robe would not be flattering on him, thus he refuses to do anything that will elevate him to the office of Lt. Governor.
5) The press in South Carolina is more afraid of Jenny Sanford than terrorists.
4) Jakie Knotts decided that he would not talk about who Sanford porked if Sanford did not talk about all the pork Knotts consumed.
3) There is super secret proof that Jim Rex and the RINOs supporting public education paid Maria to seduce the Governor.
2) Sanford, the GOP candidates and the Democratic candidates for Governor are scared to death of two words: “Governor Bauer.”
1Joe Dell says, “who the Hell is Mark Sanford?"