Parody: Anderson County leaves SC and the US

After WAIM’s Rick Driver made clear that his website had some unwanted outsider voting in a poll, and the South Carolina National Guard did not do the Anderson County Council’s bidding, Anderson County Council Chairman Eddie Moore said enough was enough for the Anderson County Council.

As such, Moore led an effort for the Anderson County Council to vote to secede from the state of South Carolina and the United States. “Now,” Moore said, “we don’t have to worry about SLED or the Attorney General or the National Guard. We run the show now in Anderson County. We are our own nation. People had better learn to conform to what we want and conform now. Cindy, what else do I need to say? ”

Rick Driver’s radio show was filled with radio bliss upon the 5-2 vote of the Anderson County Council to secede from South Carolina and the United States. Said one caller, “Oh, Thank God, Eddie Moore is my new President. Thank God. We will be so much better off now.” Another caller commented, “When do we declare Cindy Wilson’s birthday a holiday?” Yet another caller lamented, “Can we hang Joey Preston and Bill McAbee at once or do we have to hang them separate, and what do we do with Brian McCarty?”

There were some lamentations from some members of council. Council Member Ron Wilson seemed especially distraught. Mr. Wilson commented, “The first time I got a chance to vote for secession, and I felt I could not. I was torn. I hope Bedford Forrest forgives me.” Gracie Floyd kept referring to the Lord. Cindy Wilson sheepishly said that she did not lead the secession movement but that she wanted to make sure little old ladies in Williamston got their yards raked. Bob Waldrep asked, “What did we just vote on?”

New Anderson County President Eddie Moore announced his public enemies list. At the top was Joey Preston. Secret agents in pickup trucks were ordered to watch various people in the county. The Anderson County Council ordered “that any person who speaks against how we spend money is against the people and we will order their detainment.”

South Carolina’s Governor and President Obama found rare agreement in learning of the Anderson County secession. They issued a joint statement that stated, “Good riddance. We are tired of dealing with those nutcases.” In response, Moore responded, “at least I don’t have a black President and Lindsey Graham as my senator. Gracie, we are coming for you now. Just because we can’t get some Latina hottie does not mean we don’t have the power. ”

No news on what the diplomatic relations between Anderson County and the United States are to be. There was also no comment on how Anderson County refugees would be handled by the United States.