Friday, September 04, 2009

Top 9 things people don't want to hear from politicians

Here is this week's Top 9. It is nine, because we at VUI ain't smart enough to come up with ten.

9)I voted for that bill before I voted against it.

8)Yes, you can throw me out of office. But, if you do some gay guy will take my place. God would not want that. He told me so on the plane from Argentina.

7)They are not tax increases. They are opportunities for you to contribute more to your government.

6) I know your daughter was the paige in question. But, hey, I was drunk, okay. Give me a break? I gotta drink to put up with people like you calling me all the time.

5)I am sorry sir, the Congressman really won't be able to help on that matter. According to our database, you contributed to his opponent two elections ago.

4) Look, kid, you emailed me those nude pictures, you got to get your parents to lay off.

3) Why should I, of all people. have to deal with car traffic, when I can fly on the state plane? Don't you know if I don't have a good haircut, it could hurt the state?

2) God is on my side. He knows all I have to do is say I am sorry.

1) Give me an hour with your children and I will help them learn how to serve and help me lead this nation.

9 comments:

  1. #8 I can't believe you went there.

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  2. Here is the 10th one, "I am Brian McCarty, and I am running for Congress."

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  3. I like #1, I am outraged that Obama wants to indoctrinate my kid.

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  4. Hey Nutcase, don't you listen to the radio, McCarty is running for Anderson County Council.

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  5. Sanford or dieSeptember 04, 2009

    But, Andre was outed. Did you not get that?

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  6. McCarty for Congress? No. Massey for Congress. McCarty for best friend.

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  7. Obama will teach my kids over my dead body.

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  8. Blowbama can talk to my kids when I can talk to his!

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  9. A bi-partisan roasting...hilarious. You know if you are running for office, you got to stop this kind of thing, don't you?

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