9) The rumors about Governor Sanford and Rep. Rita Allison are false. But, if they weren’t I could not blame the Luv Gov. She’s sixty something and hot. A true GILF.
8)Your love rap includes the line, “Come on baby, just give the blue pill time to work.”
7)Who needs sex? I got ESPN.
6)Another term as Superintendent of Education? No thank you. I will run for Governor. I can get more sleep with that job.
5)Hillary Clinton is pretty hot in that pants suit.
4)I worked for Dick Riley. I can be Governor. Remember who I am, damn it! Don’t try to feed me; I can raise money, nurse.
3)I am gonna use every ounce of my power to go after the internets as Attorney General, this crazy thing is out to get us. Craig’s List on that dadgummed internet will take away our social security checks and give them to hookers. Don’t you get on that internet.
2)Caffeine pills and bourbon? You lie!
1)I finally got high speed internet. But, I still can’t find that nude video of Margaret Thatcher.