9) The desk clerk tells you, “In India, we learn to live with the roaches and rats. We are all one.”
8) It is 5 AM and the folks in the room next to you are making a porno movie.
7) At 3 AM, the four hundred pound guy staying in the room directly above you decides he needs to run in place.
6) The room is $40 a night. If you want protection, that is extra.
5) The desk clerk chuckles when you ask for daily, instead of hourly rates.
4) The desk clerk says, “Ignore those police lines and have a good rest.”
3) Maria is trained by her Pakistani employer to come clean your room at 7AM, no matter what.
2) You are warned against wearing certain colors to the free continental breakfast; else you might start a gang related incident.
1) The desk clerk tells you after your stay, “my man, the itch you have will go away in a week or two.”