Thursday, February 11, 2010

Top 9 things said to politicians that offer little comfort

9) Don’t worry about having to use the teleprompter so much, Mr. President. Sarah Palin writes notes on her hands.

8) Governor, I thought your wife’s book was boring.

7) Congressman, the boy was 18. His pictures sent to you were legal. Relax.

6) But, sir, everyone hates incumbents right now.

5) Congressman Frank, calm down. The protesters are one hundred thousand tea partiers, not tea baggers. There is no need to be so excited.

4) I am sorry, Mr. Drake, but wookies are not exempt from open container laws.

3) Senator, there is no law against voting drunk on the floor of the State Senate. Just don’t text from the State Senate floor.

2) Senator, the baby could be Jeff Goldblum’s.

1) The sex video is grainy. It is hard to tell it is you, sir.


  1. OMG You went there again. Wow.

  2. #10 "Mr. McCarty, you can win against Cindy Wilson when you run for County Council"

  3. So what if Dwight Drake had an open beer on New Years Eve? You Republicans seems obsessed with that. Drake knows how to get things done. Where were you when Donnie Meyers got caught up in Asheville?

  4. With all the wookies done to save us from the empire, it would seem that they would get some slack. We are with you, Chewie.

  5. I love Dwight Drake and you can not stop me from doing so you Nazi pig!

  6. Who the Hell is Dwight Drake?

  7. Here's one more. senator McConnell, playing dress up is not macho.

  8. If Dwight Drake is the wookie, what is Harpo, a ewok? Does that make Tumpy Campbell Yoda? Is Sanford Darth Vador with a hard on for latina milfs? I am confused.

  9. One thing is for sure Glenn McConnell ain't no baby's daddy. Nope. Nada. Never.