9) The briefs in your underwear drawer do not fit.
8) You spouse needs a few days “incommunicado” in a South American country to find his or herself.
7) There are voice messages on your home phone from some guy who calls himself “The Worm.”
6) The UPS man comes by your house every day but never leaves a package.
5) You discover a multi thousand dollar charge to your credit card from some Asian “spa.”
4) You find yourself living in the same house with your spouse and his or her ex.
3) Your spouse tells you that all good Christians need help from “Brother Cubby” and the C Street Ministry.
2) You are contacted by some talk show host to find out who is the real baby daddy.
1) Suddenly your spouse has “plans” that they tell you are private and personal.