Monday, March 15, 2010

Top 9 things a census worker should not say to you or ask of you

The 2010 Census is upon us. There has been some criticism about how the Obama Administration chose workers for the Census and there are questions about what Census workers can say to and ask of the public. Some say this Census is going to be "ACORN style." As a public service, VUI offers this TOP 9 things that a Census worker should not say to you or ask you about.

9) There is a $20 cash fee needed to make sure that your answers are filed properly with the government.

8) How many times have you had sex this month? I see. That's below the national average. But, don't worry, I can help you with that.

7) I see you have a new computer, and a HD TV. When are the people in your household normally not at home?

6) Now, sir, I need your social security number, your credit card numbers and the passwords you have on any bank accounts. It is for the government to help you.

5) Look bitch, stop worrying about the bandanna on my head and on the heads of my associates. We are sanctioned by the government. What you better be worried about is we know where you live.

4) You have high speed internet? Cool. I need to use your computer for a few minutes to download some porn, I mean important government documents to my thumb drive.

3) What do you mean you don't have $20. This is important government business. I will do you a favor and take that tv you got.

2) Mam, I know you say those are real, but the government requires me to hold and squeeze them to make sure.

1) Can you give me the names of any friends or neighbors that ever speak against President Obama? Do you know of anyone that makes fun of Mrs. Obama or Nancy Pelosi? Oh my God, I just noticed you have Sarah Palin's book in your home. Do you have a lawyer? Have you seen a doctor?


  1. Mr. McCarty:

    This pathetic attempt at gutter humor is insulting to the progressive men and women who work for ACORN and what they are doing for OUR government with the census. Your Nazi like propaganda will not deter them.

  2. Yeah!

    Your attempt at pathetic gutter humor is insulting to the Nazi-like scum who work for ACORN and what they're doing TO our country with the census. Your humor in revealing the truth of their fascist thuggery will not deter them!

  3. Freed SlaveMarch 15, 2010

    Open letter to ACORN reps:

    If you want to feign indignation, don't follow it up by calling people Nazis.

    America's eyes are open. ACORN has lost its federal funding as more and more ACORN "locals" are being investigated and prosecuted for their rampant corruption and repression. The "ethics" of the Democrat party have been exposed as pure sophistry.

    President Lincoln freed blacks from physical slavery. Dr. King freed blacks from statutory slavery.

    The time has come for America to rise up and free blacks from their chains of ideological and educational slavery. ACORN, Democrats and their minions in the NEA have worked to systematically suppress minorities far too long.

    You shall know The Truth, and The Truth shall set you free.

  4. I thought it was pretty funny

  5. BangedWorkingMomMarch 15, 2010

    Me three point seven