Wednesday, April 07, 2010

Top 9 things you just ought not to say to candidates at rallies and such

It is the political season again in South Carolina. It is a time that candidates get out and mingle with the people. However, there are just some things you ought not to say or do around candidates. Here are the top 9:

9) “Yo, Vinny, did your Mama name you after that guy in “My Cousin Vinny? I mean you are what, 20? Is Joe Pesci gonna stump for you?”

8) “Mr. Bauer, I think you are okay. My cousin is gay and I have no problem with him. Oh, you are not gay. Sorry, I was just going on the Sanford people’s stuff. Well, I have another cousin who speeds all the time, so we are still good. My grandma loves the blanket.”

7) “Mr. McMaster, can you meet my nephew? He just loves Foghorn Leghorn in the cartoons, and to meet the guy who does him would be such an honor for the little guy. What? No, my nephew has not been a victim of an internet sex crime!”

6) “Leighton Lord, my wife just loves you in that ballet stuff you do. I think it is a little gay, but hey, the ole lady likes it. Oh, I am sorry; I thought you were that Leighton Lord, you know one of the Lords prancing. My bad.”

5) “Mr. Rex, what an honor it is to meet a man who was around when public education began. Nurse! I think Mr. Rex needs help. ”

4) “Senator Ford, what an honor it would be to play numbers with you. No, I don't have a knife, sir.”

3) “Rep. Haley, would you mind signing this copy of the Art of Kama Sutra?”

2) “Don’t worry Congressman Barrett, no one pays attention to those damned IQ tests. What's an IQ test? Don't worry about it, sir.”

1) “Mr. Eckstrom, I am a big Charlie Brown fan. Come to think of it, Kelley Payne does remind me of Lucy. Sorry she moved the football, sir.”

1 comment:

  1. I can not believe you did this. Funny as Hell, but, dude, you have pissed some people off who do not have a sense of humor