Friday, May 07, 2010

Top 9 things Americans learned this week from the British elections


This week's Top 9 has an international flavor as the British, our key allies, had a general election.  Here are things Americans learned from this week. 

9) The British have no President.  Debates among their party leaders are like mules fighting over a turnip.  It is interesting to watch for a while, but in the end it means nothing.

8) If you think counting votes in Florida is bad, try counting them in some constituency outside of London while some drunken soccer fan shouts his vote only counted once.

7) Like in American politics, the most powerful woman in Great Britain, the Queen, does not have anything to say about the elections. Hillary understands.

6) British Prime Minister Gordon Brown seems a lot like Jimmy Carter with a British accent.

5) The British Parliament is akin to the South Carolina State Senate after a five drink minimum. 

4) A Tory is not a car that Paris Hilton’s latest boyfriend drives.

3) The self professed “Liberal Democrats” of Great Britain are actually more conservative in nature then President Obama.

2) The Speaker of the House of Commons, even after this election, is not on Zoloft and Botox.

1) A “hung” Parliament is nothing gay men and straight women should get overly excited about.

3 comments:

  1. AnonymousMay 07, 2010

    No wonder your top 9 would deal with foreigners. You gave a big kiss to that Hindu woman running for Governor.

    Why not be an American? Stand up for a real true American like Henry McMaster.

    But you gas from Nikki HIndu, but support your all American candidate for Governor. Ronald Reagan made him US Attorney while Nikki Haley was learning about some eight legging god of her people.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousMay 07, 2010

    Now, this is funny. Especially number one. You have broke the hearts of so many with that one.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh, wow. This is one of your best yet.

    ReplyDelete