Sunday, June 06, 2010

Top 9 Reasons I am glad the Primary is upon us

9) I am sick of getting post cards telling me that Converse Chellis or Curtis Loftis is indeed the son of Satan. 

8) My buddies keep giving nicknames to candidates, like "Rocket Queen" Nikki Haley, "Sir Lord" Leighton Lord, and "Old man McCheese" Henry 

7) I got a call from a politician wondering why someone "like me" could make fun of someone "like him." Well, it is easy. 

6) The "RINO hunt."  Yeah, let's run voters away who think of themselves as Republicans because of gun rights and other social issues.  If they ain't Libertarians, run them off and make them vote to elect Democrats. Yeah, that makes sense.  Let's have a narrow based party that loses and gives the Democrats control of the Census redrawing.  That makes real good Democrats.

5) Even though I voted for Mike Huckabee in 2008, if he tells me one more time who I ought to vote for in South Carolina, I will vote for...ah crap, who else is there to vote for President?

4) Some guy knocked on my door at 9AM while I was trying to sleep in, only to tell me that a vote for Richard Cash aka Dick Money is a vote for God and if I did not vote for him God would punish me  He then gave me a pamphlet that said Jesus loved me. 

3) When I was trying to pay for gas at the local station, the clerk looked at me coldly and stated, "Do you think I am a raghead, buddy?"  "I know you eat the barbecue. All you fat southerners eat the barbecue." 

2) I get anonymous emails telling me that Converse Chelliis spent taxpayer money to mess around with Nikki Haley and Andre Bauer while Barack Obama watched on closed circuit tv. 

1) I am getting pretty sick of my bartender Al telling me he messed around with Nikki Haley and even showing me some sick pics to prove it.  As Al said, "I ain't sure that was her that night. I was pretty drunk.  But, hey, this will make your blog popular."


  1. Loftis is the ManJune 06, 2010

    The thing is Converse Chellis does do what Obama tells him to.

  2. I thought you and I were the offspring of Satan?