Sunday, July 25, 2010

North Korea's Lil' Kim must need more western porn and booze

North Korean “strongman” Kim Jong Il is known for his love of western pornography and booze.  Apparently Kim is running low on booze and needs an update to his porn collection, because he is again acting nutty.  Frankly, it is what the little dictator over the hermit land of North Korea does when he needs a boost to his vice supply. 

Kim has acted nutty under various Presidents of the United States.  Clinton, Bush the Younger, and now Obama have the “Korean experience.”  That experience is always crazy and involves threats of “nuclear war,” and whatever.  Simply put, Lil’ Kim gets sideways when he is not paid attention to or does not get his porn and scotch delivery. 

Kim is insane.  There is little doubt about it.  But, he still holds control of North Korea and has spent whatever money that nation has on himself and building a military to threaten others.  Still, it is difficult to take Kim seriously.  Kim seems like the perverted neighbor who surfs porn on his basement computer while drinking cheap beer and whiskey, thinking everyone is out to get him. International diplomats have to say to themselves, “ah, crap, not that guy again.”

But, Kim is making his noise.  This time it is about military exercises by the United States and South Korea.  Those exercises come four months after North Korea sunk a South Korean ship, killing 47 South Koreans in the process.  Lil’ Kim looked up from his porn long enough to threaten “nuclear war” if the exercises went forward. 

President Obama, to his credit, ordered the exercises to go ahead and sent the USS George Washington, a Nimitz class aircraft carrier, to lead them.  That threw Kim into a fit.  Angry statements about impending nuclear war have been issued by the North Korean News Agency.  Diplomats have gone into overdrive. 

To some, an Asian crisis now looms.  However, it really does not.  President Obama should stock a plane with booze and Hustler videos and send it to North Korea.  Lil Kim will be distracted for years.  Perhaps Hustler publisher Larry Flynt should be finally paid off for his support of liberal causes.  President Obama should appoint Flynt special envoy to North Korea, making sure that Flynt takes several of his so called Hustler honeys with him.  Lil’ Kim might have a stroke when he meets face to face the women he watched on video. 

Sure, such sounds crazy and even unchristian to some.  But, it beats the alternative, which is blowing North Korea to bits and killing a lot of innocent North Koreans because their leader is a perverted nutcase.  


  1. AnonymousJuly 25, 2010

    As Korean-American, I am insulted by this post. Koreans do not indulge in you perverted pornography or your evil liquids. The photo you posted is a fake and is a disgrace to a great man who leads his people.

  2. AnonymousJuly 25, 2010

    I really do not get the point of this post.I guess it is supposed to be satire.In my view it falls flat.Better go back to commenting on SC politics.

  3. No satire anon, this stuff is real. That guy really does threaten us with nukes until he gets his porn on.

  4. AnonymousJuly 25, 2010

    I swear I saw that guy voting for Jakie Knotts in Redbank two years ago.

  5. Stan the ManJuly 25, 2010

    He is in Earl Capps's apartment. The photo was taken by some woman named Amy. I know this to be true. We will talk about it on the radio Monday morning.

  6. AnonymousJuly 25, 2010