Friday, July 16, 2010

Top 9 reasons you ought to get a McCarty action figure

The staff of VUI likes to pick on its founder and editor.  Inspired by Democratic United States Senate nominee Alvin Greene's idea of making action dolls of himself to spur the SC economy, the staff of VUI has decided people ought to have action figure dolls of R.B. McCarty.  Here are the Top 9 reasons why: 

9) The expanding "beer gut" function lets you pour adult beverages into the mouth of the McCarty doll and watch his gut expand like a chia pet. 

8) It is voodoo approved.  Comes complete with a set of stick pins. 

7) It makes a better target than beer cans at the target range.

6) Just pull the cord on the back of the doll and get some classic quotes like, "who are you nutcases?"  "Somebody get me a beer."  "Liberals piss me off," and many more.  

5) If your wife just isn't turned on anymore, maybe this doll will help. 

4) Hey, its 2010, if your husband just isn't turned on anymore, maybe this doll will help. 

3) The McCarty doll comes with a redneck kung fu grip that allows you to fight your friends who have the Haley and Sanford dolls.  The McCarty doll is not near as bulky as the Jakie Knotts doll or as slippery as the Bobby Harrell doll.

2) The McCarty doll can take a beating.  Throw it up against the wall.  Run over it.  Shoot it.  The special care given to the textiles involved in making the doll gives you something you can show your hate against time and time again.  Like the man, nothing you do will make this doll just shut up.

1) The adult version of the McCarty doll has a special "Sarah Palin is in the room" feature that is strictly for adults only.   

4 comments:

  1. AnonymousJuly 17, 2010

    LOL! I think this is the funniest top 9 yet!

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  2. AnonymousJuly 18, 2010

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  3. That's right. McCarty is an asshole whose claim to fame is beating some little shits in politics and having a brother who is a cop. #10, pull the cord and hear it say, "I can be Mayor" as people like me laugh. How is your dog?

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  4. AnonymousJuly 18, 2010

    DG, McCarty and his family never did time. Can you say that?

    ReplyDelete