Sunday, October 03, 2010

Top 9 signs your college tailgating experience is going badly

Sadly, these are real life experiences from people VUI knows.

9) Everyone around you is wearing orange.

8) The woman in the parking spot beside your party gets really drunk and decides to inform everyone at your party about her std and what her boyfriend thinks of her body.

7) Two and half hours into tailgating, you pause and say out loud, “ wait a minute, didn’t my wife come with me?”

6) Some guy named Earl tells you not to worry about that. He has your wife “taken care of” in his motor home parked six spaces away.

5) Some young kid comes by and tries to give you a “Cocks for Nikki” sticker to wear to the game.

4) You find out the hard way that a drunk guy is no match for a deputy on a golf cart.

3) You find out that urinating in public can get you arrested after all.

2) The thrill of being frisked by the female cop in the tight uniform comes to an end when she is more interested in the eight mini bottles of Jack Daniels on you than anything God gave you.

1) You don’t pull for Clemson or Tennessee, but you end the night in an orange jumpsuit.

4 comments:

  1. This is insulting the next Governor of South Carolina. You ought to be ashamed of yourself.

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  2. well willie for lifeOctober 03, 2010

    Is the Earl one Mr. Earl Capps. What do you know about him and his motor home at USC games? Does Nikki Haley spend time in it? Come clean, Brian

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  3. Is Nikki Haley wearing the cop uniform. If so, handcuff me baby. Spank me. I have been a bad Republican.

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  4. I need sex. I wish Nikki Haley would sleep with me. I need the sex and the money

    ReplyDelete