Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Top 9 ways to know that you are having a Rough Thanksgiving

9) Your mama calls out "turkey's ready" and everyone grabs a cup.

8) "No, dad, he ain't my baby's daddy, but he loves me anyway. The least you could do is fix him a plate. Hurry up. He has to go be with his wife's people soon."

7) There are more beer cans than teeth at the dinner table

6) You have to carry your sister a plate because she is camped out in front of Dollar Tree waiting on black Friday.

5) You serve fried turkey, fried ham, fried green beans, fried potatoes and fried snickers bars.

4) After several drinks, Uncle Walter breaks out in a special thanksgiving in tongues message. 

3) You have empty chairs at your table for Elvis and Dale Earnhardt.

2) Your granny asks "what is white and bald headed and welcomed at the White House?  A turkey. "

1) You are a young turkey and you ask an older turkey what this Thanksgiving thing is all about.  The older turkey replies, "well when you grow up, those people over there are going to cut your head off, scold you, pluck your feathers and stick cornmeal up your butt.  But look at the bright side you were not born Nancy Pelosi."

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