Friday, December 10, 2010

Top 9 signs that you might not be in your right mind

9) You tell the state trooper that pulled you over for speeding that you will “whoop” his ass if he writes you a ticket.  You dare him to. 

8) At 3AM, after a night of drinking, you decide now is the right time, ordained by God Himself, for you to call up that girl or guy from 15 years ago that you should have ended up with. God Himself will help you impress them with your call.  You actually pray their spouse does not answer.

7) You block someone from viewing your Facebook page and then spend the next two weeks posting about that person you blocked. You showed him, girl! At least some of your dimmer friends will "like" your comments.

6) You call the cops to report that someone sold you some “bad weed.”

5) You don’t understand why the IRS will not allow you to count your 26 cats as dependents.  Those bastards!

4) Your estranged wife moves in with a guy ten years younger than her named Hernando, and you tell your buddies, “She is just pouting.  She’ll be back.”  Yeah. Okay.

3) You engage in “Moped Sex.”  That is the person you were with gave you a fun ride, but you would be ashamed to be seen with them.

2) You are the reason that the local liquor store placed a “no pants, no service” sign on its door. VUI is guessing that happened a few hours after #8 did not work out so well.

1) You thought you were dreaming about walking around an Anderson Wal-Mart butt naked trying to shoplift some underwear, then reality hit when some deputies tazed you to the cold floor.

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