9) She is cheating on you if your underwear does not fit.
8) Nice girls do not have tattoos on their private parts that they offer folks to take a look at.
7) Very few straight men leave their women home alone to have a two week, all male vacation cruise with a theater theme.
6) A stripper will be into you until your money runs out.
5) You can not join a good church after you are dead.
4) Life is not a Lifetime or Hallmark movie. Chances are she will stick with a jerk. After all, she thinks she can "change him." So give up and find a sane woman, dude.
3) A good woman will love you till death do you part. A bad one makes sure you go first.
2)You just can't ignore the IRS or a kidney stone.
1) If you need your ass kicked, just show up and try to use the name of God to disrupt a military funeral in the South. Ass kicking guaranteed or your money back.