Saturday, January 29, 2011

Top 9 signs your new relationship might not work out

9) At 3AM, some drunk guy, who calls himself “Larry” beats on your door looking for “his woman.”

8) In the midst of making out, your would be new lover says, “wait, to be fair baby, we ought to wait until after the test results from the clinic come in.”

7) After a nice a dinner, you stroll along the riverfront on your first date.  Your date turns to you says, “you do love me, right?  You do love me!  You better love me or I am going to jump in.”  You quietly say, “ do what you will.”

6) Your 30 something year old date looks at you in total seriousness and states, coldly, “mother says I have to be home by nine, but you can spend the night in one of our hotel rooms.”

5) Your date admits to you that he or she is afflicted with the most dreaded disease on Earth when they announce to you, “my blood runneth orange.”

4) Your date’s name is Achmed and he tells you this night with you is his last worldly sin.

3) “No, I ain’t go not flowers, baby, but these tractors we gonna watch, they gonna pull for our love, Saluda style.”

2) “Just one more lottery ticket, baby, and we can go to dinner.  Hey, do you have ten dollars?”

1) “Governor, quit calling me Earl.”

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