9) Send South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley to Libya to help Gaddafi with his application for his next job.
8) Drop Gaddafi as a Facebook friend.
7) Set up an embargo that bans all decorative rugs and blankets into Libya, forcing Gaddafi to dress like a normal human being.
6) Offer Gaddafi “expert advice” on picking the NCAA basketball tournament’s Sweet Sixteen round if he steps down.
5) Use U.S. military technology to jam all radio and television stations and replace the signals with rotating episodes of Dr. Phil and Jerry Springer.
4) Have the CIA kidnap Gaddafi’s favorite goat and threaten to have the goat “tell all” if Gaddafi does not step down.
3) Make Charlie Sheen special envoy to Libya with instructions to “party hard” with Gaddafi. Of course, with this option, the goat would have to stay in Libya.
2) Forget the “no fly zone.” Create a “no 15 year old Toyota truck loaded down with crazy men armed with old Soviet weapons zone.”
1) Send a private message to Gaddafi that says, “ Don’t make this brother from Chicago go Bush on your ass.”