Saturday, June 30, 2012

Top 9 things not say at a Fourth of July BBQ

It is that time year again, the Fourth of July, when folks around the state of South Carolina will be invited to cookouts.  Here is some advice on what not to say so that you have a pleasant time with your hosts.

9) President Obama was born in the United States.

8) Sweetie, hold my beer while I show these dumbasses how to do this.

7) Who cares what kind of barbecue Jakie Knotts likes, this stuff has too much mustard.

6) Your wife might be hot to you, but she really needs to wear a bra. And, yeah, I don’t care if you bought them for her for Christmas.

5) We really don’t want to see your middle aged beer belly, dude, put a shirt on.

4) I’m sober you sonabitch, give me another beer.

3) Easy, Governor, I will show you the Roman Rocket in due time.

2) Watch out, I am gettin’  loose with it

1) Hey ya’ll, watch this...I got fireworks.

3 comments:

  1. Sarah Palin Forever!July 24, 2012

    Looks like you're about ready to hang it up

    Eh McCarty?

    No real posts in about two months?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Man, I hope whatever is keeping you off-line will work out. You make a valued contribution when you post. If your obstacle is health or business, please understand your readers are pulling for you. If your difficulty is lack of enthusiasm, please enlist some subs.

    We need intelligent observations now.

    Best, one of your readers.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Happy to see VUI will be back soon. Your friends in Columbia (and Florida) have missed you and your views on life in SC. We greatly appreciate your honesty and illustrious sense of humor!
    From one of your long-time best buds. You know who I am

    ReplyDelete